My Previously Happy Ending
by MoonWarriors
Summary: With no job to come home to, Kenny is forced back home to Minnestoa, while the boys remain in L.A. After a broken heart, a mysterious new character takes Kenny away, leaving her friends with tears and broken hearts. Sequel to Sometimes Dreams Fall Apart.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Gustavo, please," I mumbled, looking at my former boss.

"Kenny, I can't give you your job back," he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"You quit your job. I lost a lot of money because of that, and your uncle, Griffin, is not very happy about that."

"I quit my job because my brothers were _threatened_! Hawk, your rival, threatened to hurt my brothers if I didn't quit my job. I had no choice!"

"You had a choice, but you just chose to do what was easy."

"Gustavo!"

"Stop. Kenny, leave. I'm sorry, but I can't give you your job back. I can't make you famous."

"So what am I supposed to do now? Go back home? After everything I've done for you? There are people waiting for my album to come out, Gustavo!"

"Looks like you won't make an album. You'll be a one-hit wonder."

"I've had more than one hit," I answered.

"I'm sorry, Kenny."

"What do you expect me to do now?"

"Go home. To Minnesota."

I sat there in shock. Did I really just hear him say that?

"Carry on your life as if none of this ever happened to you," Gustavo continued.

"As if none of this ever happened to me?" I shrieked. "I spent an entire year of my life in L.A. And you expect me to pretend none of this ever happened to me?"

"Here's a ticket back to Minnesota. You'll be leaving next week," Gustavo said in monotone.

"So that's it?"

"That's it."

"Fine," I mumbled, taking the ticket and leaving Rocque Records without a second glance.

I didn't bother calling for a cab. The walk would help me think- to clear my mind.

_"How am I going to tell Kendall, Logan, and Carlos? How am I going to tell Camille? Oh, gosh, how am I going to tell James?"_

With every thought of telling my friends that I was no longer going to be living in L.A., but rather back in Minnesota, my heart ached.

I walked into the Palm Woods, the familiar faces of the future famous strolling around, moving as a mindless zombie. I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

Without realizing where I was going, I found myself at the Palm Woods pool. I was standing there absent-mindedly, probably seeming as if I was looking for someone.

Someone came up behind me, wrapping strong arms around my waist.

"Hey, Kenz," he mumbled in my ear.

"Hey, James," I answered, leaning back against him.

"Are you ok?" he asked, letting go of me and turning me around to face him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I smiled, leaning in to kiss him.

James pulled away a few seconds later. "I'm not buying it," he said.

"I'm fine, James," I said, hugging him.

"Still not buying it!"

I laughed. "Can you please just buy it?"

"No," he said stubbornly. I laughed again.

"I'm fine," I said, emphasizing "fine."

"Hey, Kenz!" Kendall said, walking up to us.

"Hey, Kendall," I smiled.

"What's up?"

"Not much. You guys want to do something today?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Let's just hang out at the pool," I said.

"Ok. I'll go get Carlos and Logan," Kendall said, rushing away.

"Let's go to the pool," I told James. He nodded and followed me. I sat down on a lounge chair and James sat next to me. I stared at the water, glistening in the sunlight, thinking about how in the world I was going to tell the boys that in a week from tomorrow, I would no longer live in L.A.

"Kenz, what's going on?" James asked, worry painting his face.

"Nothing. Just thinking," I answered.

"Kenny, are you ever going to tell me what's wrong?"  
>"Nothing's wrong, James. Don't worry about it," I answered. Just then, Kendall came, with Carlos and Logan on either side of him.<p>

For the next couple days, the boys and I spent a lot of time together. The morning before the day I was to leave, I still hadn't told the boys I was leaving. I decided it was finally time to tell them.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door of 2J.

"Hey, Kenz!" Carlos smiled brightly. Probably a little too brightly for seven in the morning.

"Hey, Carlitos. Is everyone here?"

"Yeah," he said. "Why?"

"I have something I need to tell you guys."

"Hey, Kenny," James smiled when he saw me. He walked towards me, enveloping me in his arms.

"Morning, James. Is everyone awake?"

"Yeah. We're getting breakfast now. Care to join us?" Logan asked.

"I have something I need to tell you guys first," I said.

"What's up?"

"Well, James, you remember when you thought something was wrong with me?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, something was wrong."

"I knew it!"

"You see, I went to talk to Gustavo that morning."

"And…?" Kendall asked.

"He's not giving me my job back," I said.

"What?" the four boys exclaimed in unison.

"I'm not getting my job back. Uncle Griffin's sending me back to Minnesota tomorrow morning."

"No! You can't go back to Minnesota!" Carlos yelled.

"I have to, Carlos," I whispered.

"Well, we're going to spend the _entire_ day with you today then," Kendall said. I smiled.

"You don't have to, Kendall," I said.

"Yes, we do. You're our best friend and who knows when we'll get to see you again?"

I smiled. "Well, what do you guys want to do?"

"Let's go to the beach," James suggested.

"Good idea. To the beach!" I exclaimed. "But wait, I'm getting my camera first." I rushed into my room, changed into my swimsuit, grabbed my camera, and rushed out, running into James on the way.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah. Let's go," I smiled.

Logan drove us to the beach, and we ran side by side down to salt water. After a few minutes of playing with the waves, I sat down on the warm sand, watching the boys surf.

They were all pretty good surfers. Then, James fell off his surfboard, plunging down into the water. I sat up, searching the waters, waiting for him to pop up.

After a few seconds, he still hadn't popped up and I was frantically searching for him.

I got up, running to the water, calling his name, still frantically searching. Suddenly, someone jumped up behind me, pulling me under water. I small scream escaped my lips just before I was submerged.

I kicked back up, and turned to face the person who pulled me underwater- James.

"James, you suck! You scared me!" I exclaimed, slapping his arm.

"Sorry," he said, pulling me closer to him. I pecked him on the cheek, and spun out of his arm, splashing him with water. James attempted to splash me, but I moved out of the way and the water landing on Logan. Logan splashed back but James ducked under water and the water hit Kendall. Kendall accidentally splashed Carlos and soon we were all in the middle of a huge salt water fight.

Afterwards, we went to get dinner and spent the rest of the day playing in the sand.

It got dark soon, and we were laying on the sand staring up at the stars.

"I'm not ready to leave all this," I said suddenly.

"I wish you didn't have to be," James answered.

"Me too. You have no idea how much. But I will find a way to get back here," I said.

"How?" Kendall asked.

"I'll figure something out," I said.

"Kenz, can I talk to you?" James asked suddenly. "Alone?"  
>"Yeah, sure," I answered. James took my hand and led me a few feet away from the rest of the guys.<p>

"What's up?" I asked.

"You know I love you, right?" James asked.

"Yeah. I love you too," I answered. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just.. well I've heard about long distance relationships. How they never work out."

"You think that our long distance relationship won't work out?" I asked, starting to freak out.

"No, no. I hope it will. I'm just- I don't know- scared, I guess."

"Well, whatever happens, we'll still be close. We'll still be best friends, James," I said, hugging him.

"No matter what," he answered, hugging me back. We headed back to the rest of the boys, hand-in-hand.

"Everything ok?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine," I answered, smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, so I haven't been getting ANY reviews at all in the longest time. I haven't been getting many hits either, favs, anything. Honestly, I'm beginning to lose hope for this story in fanfiction... But I'm going to finish the last couple chapter in this story and upload so it'll be done. Then I'll upload the story I had the OC contest for... Unless you guys want me to start uploading that now.. Just let me know. REVIEW PLEASE. **

**I do not own Big Time Rush or any songs used in this story. **

**Chapter 2**

"I will not cry, I will not cry, _I will not cry_," I said, clenched my teeth and fanning my face with my hands to keep myself from crying- but to no avail. One tear found its way down my cheek, followed by another, and another.

"It's ok to cry, Kenz," Kendall said, gripping me in a hug.

"But I don't want to," I said, crying into his shoulder.

"Kenny, it's ok. We'll see each other soon," Logan said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"How, Logan? How soon? And how are we going to see each other again?" I asked, facing him.

"We'll-we'll figure something out," he answered.

"I hope so," I answered, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Bye, Kenz," Carlos cried, tackling me in a hug. I hugged him back, crying. We stood like that for a few minutes before someone cleared his throat.

I let go of Carlos and turned to James.

"I don't want to say good-bye," I said.

"I know, Kenz. I know," he answered, while pulling me into a hug. I buried my face in his shoulder, crying even more. A few minutes later, I pulled away and mumbled, "I should go. My flight is leaving soon."

"Call us when you get off the flight," Carlos pleaded. I nodded, not wanting to say another at risk of even more tears.

"We'll miss you, Kenz," the rest said, hugging me.

"Bye, guys," I whispered, before quickly walking away, not looking back.

_Three months later…_

I took a deep breath before dialing James's all-to-familiar number.

"Hello?" James's voice came through the phone.

"Hey, James," I said quietly.

"Kenny, what's wrong?"

"I-I saw the last issue of _People_ magazine," I answered.

I could hear James draw in a breath. "I was hoping you wouldn't see that."  
>"How would I not see it, James?" I asked, my voice getting louder. "With Cecilia and Aisha as my best friends? How could I <em>not<em> see it?"

"Kenz, it wasn't what it looks like."

"Oh really? Because it looks like you were kissing some random girl at a restaurant."

"Kenny, I didn't!"

"James, you can say that as much as you want, but it's going to be hard to believe you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying long distance relationships are harder than I thought they would be."

James was silent, so I continued. "I'm tired of people talking to me about you cheating on me. I'm tired of worrying if they're right. Call me paranoid. Call me jealous. I don't care. I'm just tired of worrying. You never call me any more. You rarely answer my calls. I get emails from Kendall, Carlos, and Logan more than I get emails from my own boyfriend!"

"What are you saying?" he asked.

I drew in a shaky breath. "I'm saying I don't think this is working."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

I closed my eyes, pausing for a second, before saying, "Yes."

"So that's it then?"

"We're still really good friends, though James. You promised at the beach."

"I know."

"I'm sorry, James. Really, I am. I just…. I'm just tired of worrying that they're right."

"I know, Kenz. I'm sorry too."

"I got to go, James. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Kenz." I hung up and threw my phone on the bed beside me. I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging my knees, gentley rocking back and forth.

I sat like that for a moment, before the tears starting spilling. For what seemed like hours, I sat on my bed, silently sobbing. I felt as if my heart had been ripped in two.

So that's what it felt like to have my heart broken. And it's all my fault. I did that to me. I broke up with James. I ripped my own heart in two. Great job, Kenny.

"Kenny?" someone knocked on my door. I didn't bother answering. My door opened and Cecilia walked in.

"Kenny, what's wrong?" she asked, rushing over to me as soon as she saw me sobbing.

"I-I broke up with J-James," I said, in between sobs.

"Aww, Kenny," Cecilia answered, hugging me. We sat on my bed for a while, with her hugging me and me sobbing into her shoulder.

Somewhere in between that, Cecilia had texted Aisha, who showed up minutes later. While they were mumbling things about how maybe breaking up with James was for the better, I couldn't help but think about how lucky I was to have Cecilia and Aisha with me- when Kendall, Carlos, Logan and… James, were not.

Just then my phone rang, Logan's voice filling the air.

"_I know the night is ending, and time just keeps on running out."_

"Hey, Logan," I said, my voice cracking slightly.

"Kenny, are you ok?"

"Honestly? No," I answered.

"Why'd you do it then?"

"I was tired of people telling me that James was cheating on me. And I was tired of worrying that they were right. Call me paranoid or jealous."

"Kenny, you know he didn't, and wouldn't, cheat on you."

"I know. It's just- the whole long-distance thing wasn't working either. I got more emails from you, Kendall, and Carlos than I did from James. I never got to talk to him, and then I saw the magazine, and I don't know."

"Well, James is really upset now," he trailed off.

"Can I have the phone?" Cecilia whispered, tapping me lightly on the shoulder. I nodded, handing her the phone.

"Logan? It's me, Cecilia. I know James is really upset now, but you should have seen Kenny for the past half hour. She's been sobbing." She paused, listening to Logan's response. "Because she just ended a relationship that was really important to her!" Cecilia paused again. "Oh, my goodness, Logan. It's a girl thing, ok?" She paused yet another time. "Alright, fine. Go on Skype tonight alright? Get the rest of the guys too. Alright. Bye," she said, and hung up.

"What happened?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"Logan's going to get the rest of the guys to go on Skype tonight so we can all talk again."

"That's a good idea," Aisha said. I nodded in agreement.

Hours later, Aisha, Cecilia and I were waiting for the boys to go online on Skype.

"They're still not on," Aisha said, stating the obvious.

"I'm going to text Kendall," I said, grabbing my phone. After a quick text to him, I threw my phone back on my bed.

Minutes later, screen name "Logan Mitchell" came online. We pressed the "call" button and waited for him to answer. Three rings passed before we heard a synchronized "Hey, girls!"

"Hey, boys," I answered. We chatted for hours before Cecilia brought up a very interesting topic.

"Guys, I'm scared," she said.

"Why? What's wrong?" Logan asked, genuinely concerned.

"There's been another murder," she said.

"Another one?"

"What do you mean, 'another one'?" I asked.

"You haven't heard?" Aisha asked.

"No," I answered.

"Everyone's calling the murderer the Minnesota Strangler," Cecilia answered. "He's been grabbing girls and fourty-eight hours after they've disappeared, police find the girl dead. The Minnesota Strangler has killed three girls so far. Each one has long blonde hair and hazel eyes. The blonde varies. The first girl had dirty blonde hair. The second had really blonde hair- almost white. And the last one had strawberry blonde hair."

"That's not far off from how I look," I said quietly.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Don't you _dare_ think the Minnesota Strangler will go after you!" Aisha screeched.

"Kenny!" Carlos scolded.

"I never said I thought the Minnesota Strangler would go after me!" I exclaimed. _"Out loud,_" I added in my mind.

"Well, if the Minnesota Strangler goes after you, we'll know," Cecilia said.

"How?" I asked.

"He leaves a note. Three actually. The first one is a warning. The second is a threat. The third is to let you know that he's got you. That's usually the one he leaves for your family too."

"Oh, that's just awesome," I said sarcastically.

"If you ever get a note, you'll tell me right?" James asked.

"Of course," I said, not looking at him on the computer screen.

"Good."

"You'll tell us too, right?" Carlos asked.

"Yes, Carlos. I'll tell you guys too. Aisha, Cecilia, you guys too."

"Good."

"It's getting late. And you guys have to be at Rocque Records tomorrow. So, get to bed, ok?" I told the guys.

"Oh, fine," they answered.

"Good night, boys," I said. We hung up the call and went offline.

"Are you guys sleeping over?" I asked, brushing my hair with my fingers.

"Do you want us to?" Cecilia asked.

"Kind of," I muttered.

"Then we'll stay here," Aisha answered.

"Thanks guys," I said.

For the next couple of hours, we talked about anything and everything before we drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, I was the first to wake up. I noticed a small, folded note on my pillow, just next to my face. Just next to the pillow was a splash of dark red, dried blood.

I picked up the note, gentley unfolding it, my hands shaking for what might be written inside the note.

The note was typed- no way to tell who left it there. A bit reluctantly, I started reading the note.

_"Check your neck. Got you in your sleep. Leave your life as you know it. Or your dead. Short, simple, easy."_

By the time I finished reading the note, I was crying, gripping the paper tightly.

"Kenny?" Cecilia mumbled. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," I managed to choke out.

"What's in your hand?" she asked, seeming to forget how tired she was altogether.

"Nothing," I said, trying to hide the note behind my back.

"Kenny, give me the paper," she hissed.

"No," I answered stubbornly.

"Kenny!" she exclaimed.

"What's going on?" Aisha asked, waking up.

"Kenny has a note in her hand and she won't let me see. She was just crying too."

Aisha's eyes widened. "Kenny!" she screamed.

"There is _nothing_ behind my back, ok?" I exclaimed.

"Fine," they answered, narrowing their eyes to slits.

"Thank you," I said, throwing my hands up.

**Please, please, pleaseee review! The review button is right down there! Click away:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, I'm back :P But I can't guarantee how often I'll update this story because I've been working on my other story and it's been doing better than this one sooo... yeah :P**

**I do not own Big Time Rush or any songs used in this story. **

**PLEASE REVIEW:)**

**Chapter 3**

_James's POV_

It had been a week since Cecilia called us and told us about the note that Kenny had gotten.

_"Hello?" I answered my phone._

_ "James, it's Cecilia," the girl on the other end said. _

_ "Hey, Cecilia. What's up?"  
>"It's Kenny," she answered quietly.<em>

_ "What happened to her?" I asked, starting to panic._

_ "She got a note."_

_ "What did it say?" _

_ "It says, 'Check your neck. Got you in your sleep. Leave your life as you know it. Or your dead. Short, simple, easy.'"_

_ "What happened to her neck?"_

_ "There was blood on her pillow and when she was fixing her hair, I noticed she had a huge gash on her neck. He _cut_ her. James, what are we supposed to do?"_

_ "Why are you asking me? Logan's the smart one!" _

_ "But you're her boyfriend!" That's when I felt my heart rip in two. _

_ "Ex-boyfriend," I corrected stiffly. Cecilia was silent on the other end. _

_ "Just come down here, please," Cecilia pleaded. _

_ "I'll try."_

_ "Good. I'll talk to you guys later. Keep you updated."_

_ "Thanks. Bye." And we hung up. _

I had spent days trying to get Gustavo to let us go. Gustavo kept refusing to let us go- claiming we had too much work to do. Thank goodness Griffin showed up one day while we were begging Gustavo and let us go- only because Kenny was his niece.

So the guys and I had just gotten out of the cab and were standing outside Kenny's house.

I was mentally preparing myself for seeing Kenny again. I hadn't seen her in months, and, honestly, I missed her. I was going over in my mind what to say to Kenny, about why she broke up with me, and try to fix everything between us.

I took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell, looking back at my friends for moral support.

Cecilia answered the door. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were pink.

"Cece, what's wrong?" Logan asked.

"H-He took her. She's gone," she sobbed.

"Kenny," I breathed, and felt tears stinging at the corners of my eyes.

**What'd you think? Please please please review:) They make me update faster! *hint hint* ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Been a while, sorry! But enjoyy! **

**Chapter 4**

_Kenny's POV_

I awoke with a throbbing head. I tried to sit up, but ended up falling right back down.

"Look who's awake," someone said.

"W-Who are you?" I asked, holding my head with my hand.

"How could you possibly forget who I am?"

"Because I can't see you!" I shrieked. Something smacked the back of my head and I winced in pain.

"Watch what you say, Princess," he spat.

"Princess?" I questioned.

"Wow, I guess some blondes really _are_ dumb." I growled.

"Just tell me who the flip you are!" I hissed.

"I'm hurt. How could you forget me?"

"I'm pretty sure we already covered this," I grumbled, then said louder, "Because I can't see you, freak!"

"Would it help you if I showed you who I was?" the man said in a baby voice.

I narrowed my eyes, but didn't answer. The mysterious man chuckled and stepped into the narrow strip of light peaking into the dark room.

I drew in my breath.

"Damen?"

"Wow, you are _so_ stupid," he said.

"Shut up!" I exclaimed. "How'd you get out of jail?!"

"Easy. I was never _in_ jail." It took me a minute to realize what he meant. This wasn't Damen. This guy was _much_ worse.

"Adrian?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Well, look who just got smart," he smirked.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice louder this time.

"This is your fault, you know. All of this could have been prevented," Adrian answered.

"What are you talking about?"

"I was the one that was in love with you, Kenny. Me! Not Damen! And still you chose him!" Adrian yelled. I was too shocked to answer, so he continued in his rant. "Damen never loved you! That's why he abused you, you idiot! Your life would have been much better with me. I could have made you happy. I would never hurt you. You wouldn't be the emotionally scarred wreck you are now if you had just chosen me!"

"Adrian," I whispered.

"Shut up. Just shut up," Adrian hissed, holding his hand up. Then he continued. "I got over it. Figured you would come running to me soon enough, so I forgave my twin brother. We even got really close. And then you left. That's when things were rough for me."

_"How could things be rough for him? He was as popular as his brother!"_ I thought in disbelief.

"My crush was gone. No, crush isn't the right word. My one true love was gone. My _soul mate_ left me," Adrian continued, answering my unspoken question. "Kenny, why wouldn't you love me?" Adrian dropped down to his knees in front of me, grabbing hold of my hand in both of his.

I was too shocked to answer. Adrian got back up and turned around.

"Adrian, why are you doing this?" I asked quietly.

He laughed. An evil, cold laugh. "Because if I can't have you, no one can," was his simple answer before he left.

"What about my family? They're going to know I'm gone!" I called after him. But he didn't answer.

I heaved a big sigh and hung my head. I didn't remember anything from right before blacking out. I didn't remember getting a third note. That's what bugged me. I couldn't remember anything. A small tear made its way down my cheek and I furiously tried to remember.

After what seemed like hours of sitting there, trying to remember, memories slowly trickled back into my mind.

_I had just gotten home from the mall with Aisha and Cecilia. Spending time at the mall looking at random stuff is always the way to get over a break-up. I walked into my room- well, more like skipped- and dropped my bags against the dresser, humming to myself. _

_ I glanced at my bed, only to find yet another folded piece of paper lying peacefully on my pillow. But I knew all-too-well that whatever was inside this paper would not be peaceful. _

_ I inched over to the bed and picked up the note with a shaky hand. On the note were two short words: "Got you." My heart was racing and I absent-mindedly traced the long gash on my neck- a reminder that whoever this was, was not to be messed with. _

_ Heart still racing, I placed the note back on my pillow. I turned to the mirror in my room, absent-mindedly running my fingers through my hair, trying to forget about the note. _

_ "_How am I going to hide this one?_" I wondered. Just then, someone knocked on my door. _

_ "One sec!" I called. I jumped up, note in hand, searching my room frantically for a spot to hide the paper. Finally, I settled for slipping the paper underneath my pillow. _

_ I quickly walked to my door as the knocking got faster and more frequent. _

_ I turned the doorknob so the door opened, and walked back to my bed so whoever was at the door (either Bryan, Max, or Alex) wouldn't find the note. _

_ "So what's up?" I asked, just before getting to my bed. _

_ "Nothing much," a strangely familiar voice whispered hoarsely. _

_ "Wh-" I started, turning around. But I never quit got to finish my question as something hard collided with my head. I fell to the floor, my eyes slipping closed seconds later._

_**Sooo, what do you think?:) Review please!  
>And also, check out my story Nothing But a Memory please! Thanks!<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh my goodness, it's ridiculous how long it's been since I've updated this story! I've been having issues with too many ideas and just keep writing new stories! But I am happy to report that this story has been completed and I'll keep posting the chapters until it's finally done! This is the last story in the Living Dreams series :) Thank you so much for reading and I'm so sorry for the crazy long wait! **

**I do not own Big Time Rush or any songs used in this story. **

**Chapter 5**

_James's POV_

"Are you sure? She didn't, like, go shopping or something?" I asked desperately, hysteria dripped from my voice.

Cecilia nodded gravely, tears pouring down her now pink cheeks. Logan took a big step toward her, enveloping her in his arms. Cecilia turned to him, shopping freely into his shoulder.

I, on the other hand, was unable to move. Unable to breath. Unable to think of anyone or anything but Kenny. She was gone. He took her. Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. Why did he have to take you?

I didn't realize I had voiced my thoughts aloud until Kendall placed a hand on my shoulder and Carlos broke down in tears.

"How do you know she's gone?" Logan asked softly.

Cecilia lifted her head on Logan's shoulder and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. "I'll show you," she sniffed.

She led us through the house, upstairs to Kenny's room. She opened the door and motioned us inside, where Aisha, Max, Alex, and Bryan were kneeling by the bed, sobbing.

Next to the dresser, shopping bags sat quietly. A few clothes scattered around. But next to the clothes, a small pool of drying blood was seeping into the carpet.

Alex was clutching a small white paper against his chest, his head hung as sobs racked through his body.

"Alex, show them the note," Cecilia said quietly.

Silently, he stood up, looking at us with tear-filled eyes and tear stained pink cheeks.

He handed me the note and went back to his spot next to Kenny's bed.

With a shaky breath, I looked at the note. It only contained two simple words, but they were words that would haunt me for the rest of my life: "_Got you_."

"Kenny," Logan whispered.

"I should have been here," I stated stiffly.

"You couldn't have done anything, James," Cecilia mumbled reassuringly. "He snuck through the window in broad daylight."

"I should have been here," I stated again, clenching my teeth together in an effort to keep from crying.

"James, you couldn't have done anything," Bryan answered.

"I should have been here!" I hissed. By then, tears slowly slipped down my cheeks. One, then another, followed by another, and then I couldn't stop them.

"It's not your fault; stop blaming yourself," Carlos said in between sobs.

"It _is_ my fault. _I_ didn't help her get her job back; _I_ didn't get her to tell me what was wrong. _I_ didn't email her or talk to her as often as I should have. _I_ didn't tell her I loved her enough. Kenny's gone and it's _all my fault_," I said, then added quietly, "_I_ let her slip right through my fingers."

"It's our fault," Aisha said. "Cece and I didn't see the note. Bryan, Max, and Alex didn't notice any change in her attitude since the first note. And you guys, well, you weren't here so you couldn't have done anything. It's our fault Kenny's gone, not yours." Carlos wrapped his arm around Aisha as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"My sister's gone," Alex muttered, shaking his head as tears flowed down his cheeks. "My baby sister's gone."

"I should have noticed," Bryan whispered, pulling both of his brothers into him.

"Why did it have to be Kenny?" Max cried, voicing the same thing I had questioned since I got there.

"If only Kenny could see how much people really loved her," Kendall muttered.

I looked around at everyone in the room. Bryan was holding his two brothers in a comforting embrace, each of them soothing the other. Logan was hugging Cecilia, rubbing small circles in her back as she sobbed. Tears slipped down Logan's pale cheeks. Carlos and Aisha were sitting on the floor, embracing each other as they cried into each other's shoulders. Kendall tried to comfort me, but I didn't listen. Never in a million years had I ever even considered that this would happen. And here it was.

"I loved her, Kendall," I whispered.

"I know, James. You told her that every day."

"Not enough, Kendall. I should have told her more; this wouldn't have happened if I did."

"You can go out with any girl you could possibly want, James," he said quietly. "This may not be the best time to say it, but you did let her go."

The fact that I wasn't even offended should have bothered me, if I was capable of feeling emotion at the moment.

"Any girl I want. Kendall, that's Kenny. It always has been." We were quiet for a moment before I said, "I've never been in a serious relationship before Kenny. Do you know why?" Kendall shook his head. "Because it's always been Kenny. It always has and _always_ will."

Another moment of silence passed before I voiced the thoughts that I had kept silent for months. "I was in love with her."

Kendall was silent, but then continued murmuring comforting words. But again, I wasn't listening.

"_I _will_ find you, Kennedy Griffin. If it's the last thing I do_."

**Read and review please :) Next chapter will be up soon! **


	6. Chapter 6

**YAY! New chapter :) **

**I don't own Big Time Rush or any songs used in this story. **

**Chapter 6**

_James's POV_

"Guys, look what I found," Alex said suddenly, holding up a blue book with a small silver lock on it.

"Is that her song notebook?" Cecilia asked.

"No," Bryan answered. "Her song notebook is green. This one is blue."

"Well, what's inside?" I asked, voicing the thoughts of everyone else in the room.

"It's her diary," Max said quietly. Everyone turned to look at him.

"How did you know?" Aisha asked.

"I've sat with her while she wrote in it over the past few days," he sniffled. "She wrote a lot about you, James."

"Me?" Max nodded. I couldn't tell if that was good or bad. We hadn't exactly left off in the best place when she… disappeared.

"Where does she hide the key?" Bryan asked. Max pointed to Kenny's bedside table, answering with "She hides it behind there." Bryan retrieved the key, unlocked the diary and opened to the last entry.

"This was dated yesterday," Bryan said quietly.

"What does it say?"

"I'll read it," Aisha said, taking the diary in her hands.

"_Things are getting weird around here. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but ever since I got that second note, I feel like someone's been following me- watching me. _

_ I tried writing again. But no matter how hard I try to write something else, my mind wanders back to Back to December. I can't write a single new line without crying and regretting everything. I know it's just me trying to blame everything on James, but I know it's entirely my fault. _

_ I wish I could make things right with James again. I can't stand thinking I've hurt him. I was just paranoid and insecure. But it's too little too late; he's probably already moved on. I was lucky to have him while I did.. Why couldn't I see that? _

_ Besides James, I really do miss my boys. I can tell Aisha and Cecilia do too. They check their phones a lot more often than they used to because they're hoping for a text, call, or even email from Logan or Carlos. Actually, none of us have heard much from the boys lately. Even though I talked to the rest of the boys more than my own boyfriend (ex-boyfriend…), it still wasn't very often. But they're busy. I get that. That's how I used to live my life. It's still weird having random people come up to me on the streets and ask for a picture or an autograph. Or James's phone number. But I don't regret leaving to be with my family during crisis just to keep some stupid L.A. job. _

_ But despite everything- Damen, Aunt Jackie, Hawk- I really don't regret anything. The only thing that I can really say that I regret is ending things with James. He was my rock. My safe haven. The only person I could say these beyond cheesy things about. And I wrecked it. _

_ I hate him. I hate how he thinks I'm so perfect when I'm far from it. I hate how he always makes me feel so imperfect compared to him. I hate how amazing his smile was, or how contagious his laugh is. I hate how every time he says my name, I fall for him a little more. But most of all, I hate how much I love him. _

_ Maybe one day I'll see the boys again. Logan, Cecilia, Carlos, and Aisha will be as happy as ever. Kendall will meet the right girl and James will have moved on, living a wonderful, happy life with a beautiful girl who won't break his heart like I did. _

_ In case this is my last entry for a while, I just want to get it in writing how much I love Aisha and Cecilia, and all our boys. I don't regret having to come back to Minnesota. I would do anything for my family. Aisha and Cecilia are my sisters, I love them no matter what. Kendall, Logan, Carlos.. they're my brothers. I don't know where I'd be without those boys. And James.. well, he's basically my everything. I love him. No matter how much I wish I hate him right now. _

_ Until next time… Kenny. _

_ 'She did not need much. Wanted very little. A kind word. Sincerity. Fresh air. Clean water. A garden. Kisses. Books to read. Sheltering arms. A cozy bed. And to love and be loved in return.' – Starra Neely Blade" _

"I love how she ends it with a quote," Max whispered.

"James, are you ok?" Carlos asked, touching my shoulder gently.

I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"No. I'm not ok," I answered quietly. "How could I be? Kenny's gone."

"I'm sorry, James," Bryan said. "You're welcome to stay here if you want."

"Can I?" I asked hopefully. Bryan nodded.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Let's go downstairs, guys. This is depressing," Aisha said. A few mumbles of "alright" and "fine" later, almost everyone was out of Kenny's room.

Alex hung back when he noticed I wasn't moving.

"Are you coming?" Alex asked.

I shook my head. "I'd rather stay back here for a while. If it's ok with you."

Alex nodded. "Take your time."

Just before Alex walked out the door, he paused and said, "She really did love you. Just know that."

"I wish I had told her how much I loved her too," I answered quietly.

"We'll find her." I waited for Alex to walk down the stairs before I closed the door and looked around Kenny's room.

Pictures of Kenny, Cecilia, and Aisha all smiling and happy were taped to the mirror above her white dresser. More pictures of Kenny with friends I had never met before were taped to her closet. Finally, taped on the wall next to her bed were pictures of Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and myself.

On a large frame next to the picture of Kendall, Loan, Carlos, and me was a picture of just Kenny and me. It was taken at the beach during her last day in L.A.' we were kissing. In her neat, bubbly handwriting, she had written in the top left corner: "Forever." Surrounding the large photo of us were several small photos, specially arranged of the five of us at the beach.

I smiled to myself as I walked closer to the pictures. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a picture of Kenny with the guy that I hated most in this world: Damen.

They looked happy together. Kenny was on his back, arms wrapped around his neck, and he was holding onto her arms with his hands. Both of them had huge grins on their faces. I figured it must have been from before all the abuse started. But when I looked closer, I noticed Kenny's handwriting on the photo. Above the boy's head, she had written "Adrian."

"Adrian?" I whispered aloud. Decided to ask about him later, I continued to look around Kenny's room.

Her beloved guitar leaned against the wall next to her bed. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a folded up piece of paper, carefully hidden underneath her clock.

I carefully picked up the clock, pulling the paper out and unfolded it. At the top of the paper, in big letters, it read "Back to December." The guitar music was written down and the lyrics underneath. I read through the music, saying the lyrics under my breath. But she never finished the song. And the fact that I may never know what it was she was going to write killed me.

"_Where are you_?" I wondered.

"James!" Logan called.

"Get down here!" Cecilia exclaimed.

"It's about Kenny!" Carlos yelled. Those three words were enough to make me run out of Kenny's room and speed down the stairs in a matter of steps.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You got here fast," Aisha commented. I ignored her, repeating, "What is it?"

"We wanted to know why the Minnesota Strangler only left one note before taking her," Cecilia started.

"Get to the point, Cecilia!" I exclaimed, anxious to know whatever it was they were talking about. Anything to get me closer to finding her.

"Look what I found," Alex said, holding up a pile of shredded paper.

"You found shredded paper," I said dully, unimpressed by the "evidence."

"There's writing on the paper," Kendall said. "We're going to put it together and see what it says."

"You think Kenny would _shred_ a death threat?"

"She didn't want us worry about her. She didn't know we knew about the note," Aisha answered.

I took a deep breath then said, "Anyone have tape?"

It took about an hour, but we finally finished taping the note back together. In big black letters, the note said "Time is running out, Kenny; just remember, no matter where you go, I'll find you."

"She did get a second note," Logan whimpered.

"I don't get it," Carlos said suddenly.

"Don't get what?" Aisha asked.

"She said she would tell us if she ever got a note!" Carlos exclaimed, banging his fist down on the table. "But instead she goes off and hides it! Wasn't she scared?"

"If I know my baby sister, she was more scared for you guys than herself. She probably thought that you guys would go after the Minnesota Strangler and get her.

"She's never really been afraid of death," Max said quietly.

"With her life, I would be surprised if she was," Alex said, his eyes shining with fresh tears.

**Sorry, it's not a real important chapter but it was necessary for this story. Next chapter is in Kenny's POV! Review please! :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Yay new chapter already! **

**I do not own Big Time Rush or any songs used in this story. **

**Chapter 7**

_Kenny's POV_

_One month later…._

I didn't know how long I'd been there. Adrian refused to tell me what day it was, how long I'd been there, even the time of day.

All I knew is at some point in time every couple of hours, Adrian would leave, only to come back hours later. While he was gone, I worked on untying myself. Needless to say, my fingers were sore and bloody from picking at the rope tied so tightly against my wrists.

A while ago, I almost gave up on trying to free myself. I figured that if anyone was actually looking for me, they would have found me by now. Alex, Bryan, and Max may have been searching for a while, but with how long I thought I was there, I figured they would have thought I was dead or something and given up. Cecilia and Aisha probably told James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan, but they wouldn't do anything. They couldn't, with how busy they were. I wondered how many people actually knew I was gone- and how many actually _cared_.

Realizing how suicidal and depressed I sounded, I shoved the thoughts to the back of my mind and continued working on untying myself, reminding myself that Adrian was smart. He wouldn't hide me somewhere that I could be easily found.

I was almost finished with untying the ropes when Adrian came back.

"Hey, Princess," he said, kissing my cheek. I looked away.

"Hey, don't be like that," Adrian said quietly, leaning closer and closer to me.

"Adrian, please don't," I choked out.

"You are _mine_, Kenny. You always have been, even if you didn't want to admit it," Adrian said.

"You sound like your brother," I whispered. Adrian stood up stiffly, and then walked away.

I took a deep breath and sighed. Extremely anxious, I couldn't wait for Adrian to leave again so I could finally escape this prison.

After what seemed like hours later, Adrian left yet again.

"_Finally_," I thought, and worked on untying myself again. My heart was racing as I untied the final knot and the rope dropped to the floor.

"Victory," I whispered, and ran.

Ran was an understatement. It was more like sprinting as I frantically searched for an exit. After running into walls several times in the pitch-blackness, I finally saw a little speck of sunlight.

With a grin on my face, I sprinted up the stairs towards the light and out into the world.

"_Where am I?"_ I wondered, looking around the strangely familiar scenery. Still frantic to get as far away from here as possible, I searched around until I saw a gate. I ran through the powdery white snow to the gate, running out.

I told myself not to look back; instead keep running in case Adrian was to come back. But I had to know where Adrian trapped me.

I looked over my shoulder only to find that Adrian had hidden me in the cellar of his own house.

"Smart, Adrian," I mumbled under my breath, rolling my eyes. I turned around and kept running. I didn't stop until I got back to my house.

"Bryan, Max, Alex, I'm home!" I screamed, but no one answered.

Figuring they were out for the moment, I decided to go take a shower and change.

Half an hour later, I walked out of my room, fully clothed, with a towel wrapped around my hair and sitting on top of my head.

Bryan, Max, and Alex still weren't home, and I was beginning to wonder where they were. I found myself looking through the pile of papers on the counter, zoning out for the moment.

I froze when I saw a letter from Minnesota Funeral Services. I opened up the letter and read.

_Dear Mr. Bryan Griffin: _

_ We're sorry for your loss. However, we thank you for choosing Minnesota Funeral Services to handle your sister's funeral. We assure you that it will meet your expectations. If you could send us some information about Kennedy so we can put it on the flyers, it would be greatly appreciated. _

_ The funeral is scheduled for February 13 at 6:30 PM. It will end about 8:00. Kennedy's headstone will be ready tomorrow. Once again, we're sorry for your loss and pray that your family will have the strength to carry on with your lives after your loss. Kennedy is now in a better place. _

_ We will see you soon._

_Sincerely, _

_The Staff from Minnesota Funeral Services_

I looked over at the calendar: February 13.

"It's already February?" I wondered aloud. "Adrian kidnapped me a month ago!"

That's when I realized that my funeral was supposed to be _today. _I ran to the clock only to find that it was already 7.

I sprinted to the bathroom, dried my hair, and then ran to my room. I found my favorite dress. It was a knee-length black dress that had a black ribbon tied around it just under the bust. Underneath the ribbon, the dress hung loose and flowed beautifully.

I grabbed a pair of heels and then put on my sneakers so I could run easily in the snow.

I got there just as the small box was being lowered into the ground.

Everyone was there. Bryan, Max, Alex, Aisha, Cecilia, Uncle Griffin, Kelly, _Gustavo_, Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and _James_. A few of my old teachers and other friends were there too, but the only ones that I really cared about were my brothers, friends, and James.

I couldn't stand to see them all crying. I decided to stay hidden behind a tree while I listened to my friends' stories.

Cecilia was the first to step up on the podium. She took a deep, shaky breath before starting her story.

"When I was in second grade, there was a boy who was making fun of me. At the time, Kenny was shy and kept to herself. No one really knew who she was, or what she was going through. Anyways, the boy was making fun of my hair and saying that red hair and blue eyes was ugly," Cecilia said, as tears flowed down her cheeks. "I was close to the point of crying when Kenny came up to him. She tapped on his shoulder and said, 'Excuse me, but that wasn't nice. You need to apologize.' The boy was mad and said 'No.' Kenny answered, 'I asked nicely,' in her threatening seven year old voice. The boy wasn't about to give in. Kenny then took out her hockey stick and was ready to whack him with it. Then, she had Bryan, Max, and Alex sit on him until he apologized."

Cecilia smiled at the memory, and I couldn't help but grin at my seven year old silliness. "I didn't even know Kenny at the time, but she still stuck up for me. Ever since then, Kenny's been my best friend and she's always been there for me. Thank you for being here today."

Cecilia got off the podium and walked towards the box that symbolized me since they hadn't found my body. "Miss you, Kenzie. But we'll carry on- for you, our little concrete angel."

I almost started crying. I didn't think any one would have remembered the song I wrote about abuse when I was thirteen, and yet here Cecilia was, calling _me_ the concrete angel.

Next up was Aisha, then Bryan, followed by Max and then Alex. After Alex, Camille stepped up to the podium, followed by Carlos, Logan, and Kendall.

Last up to the podium was James.

"There are so many cherished memories I could share about Kenny. She was.. amazing. No, that's an understatement. I think everyone here would agree with me when I say that words could not describe how incredible Kenny was. It took me forever to pick a memory to share. But I finally decided to pick the day before Kenny came back to Minnesota. Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and I promised Kenny we would spend the entire day together. We ended up spending the day at the beach. While Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were on shore, Kenny and I were having a water fight. She splashed water at me and I dunked myself under water. Because it was dark out, she couldn't see me. I swum around her and popped up behind her. Before she saw me, I picked her up and swung her around. She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly and I pulled her underwater with me. While underwater, she pecked my cheek. I brought her up for air and she kissed me," James paused, closing his eyes for a second.

I smiled at the memory, remembering how scared I was when James suddenly appeared and dunked me underwater.

"It's not a very extreme story or something that totally and completely show you how special Kenny was, but the memory is one of my favorites. It was one of my last nights with Kenny and I will _never_ forget her."

James got off the pedestal and walked towards my gravestone. He knelt down and whispered, "It's always been you and always will be you, Kenny. I love you."

James went back to the crowd of my friends and family. The pastor went back up to the pedestal and started speaking.

"Thank you all for sharing your memories of Kenny with the rest of us. We will now begin burying Kenny's box."

James immediately got up, whispered something to the people around him (who all nodded their heads in understanding) and walked away.

I was a little disappointed that James had left during my burial. I was thinking of reasons why James had just left. As soon as I realized I should probably be paying attention to the funeral, the box had already been buried.

That's when I made my appearance.

I stepped out from behind the tree and said, "I didn't miss my own funeral, did I?"

Everyone turned towards me, their faces lighting up when they saw me.

"Kenny!" they all screamed. Everyone ran towards me and I was debating whether to cower in fear at the 20-some people sprinting towards me.

Cecilia reached me first, her arms wrapping around me as she sobbed. Soon, everyone was gathered around me, hugging me and sobbing my name.

"Where's James?" I asked.

"He couldn't watch the funeral any more. It was too much for him, so he went walking around the cemetery," Kendall answered.

"I have an idea," Aisha said.

"What?" I asked, arching my eyebrow.

"What if someone went up to James and said something like 'James, it's time. Come on,' or something and then James came back to find Kenny there?" she asked excitedly.

"Ooh, romantic!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"Alright, fine," I smiled. "Who wants to go get him?"

"I will," Logan said.

"Go ahead, Logan," I said, watching Logan walk off.

"_I'm ready for this,"_ I thought.

**Review please! And check out my other story, Nothing But a Memory :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Next chapter :) 5 more chapters until the last story of the Living Dreams series is complete!**

**Chapter 8**

_Kenny's POV_

_One month later…._

I didn't know how long I'd been there. Adrian refused to tell me what day it was, how long I'd been there, even the time of day.

All I knew is at some point in time every couple of hours, Adrian would leave, only to come back hours later. While he was gone, I worked on untying myself. Needless to say, my fingers were sore and bloody from picking at the rope tied so tightly against my wrists.

A while ago, I almost gave up on trying to free myself. I figured that if anyone was actually looking for me, they would have found me by now. Alex, Bryan, and Max may have been searching for a while, but with how long I thought I was there, I figured they would have thought I was dead or something and given up. Cecilia and Aisha probably told James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan, but they wouldn't do anything. They couldn't, with how busy they were. I wondered how many people actually knew I was gone- and how many actually _cared_.

Realizing how suicidal and depressed I sounded, I shoved the thoughts to the back of my mind and continued working on untying myself, reminding myself that Adrian was smart. He wouldn't hide me somewhere that I could be easily found.

I was almost finished with untying the ropes when Adrian came back.

"Hey, Princess," he said, kissing my cheek. I looked away.

"Hey, don't be like that," Adrian said quietly, leaning closer and closer to me.

"Adrian, please don't," I choked out.

"You are _mine_, Kenny. You always have been, even if you didn't want to admit it," Adrian said.

"You sound like your brother," I whispered. Adrian stood up stiffly, and then walked away.

I took a deep breath and sighed. Extremely anxious, I couldn't wait for Adrian to leave again so I could finally escape this prison.

After what seemed like hours later, Adrian left yet again.

"_Finally_," I thought, and worked on untying myself again. My heart was racing as I untied the final knot and the rope dropped to the floor.

"Victory," I whispered, and ran.

Ran was an understatement. It was more like sprinting as I frantically searched for an exit. After running into walls several times in the pitch-blackness, I finally saw a little speck of sunlight.

With a grin on my face, I sprinted up the stairs towards the light and out into the world.

"_Where am I?"_ I wondered, looking around the strangely familiar scenery. Still frantic to get as far away from here as possible, I searched around until I saw a gate. I ran through the powdery white snow to the gate, running out.

I told myself not to look back; instead keep running in case Adrian was to come back. But I had to know where Adrian trapped me.

I looked over my shoulder only to find that Adrian had hidden me in the cellar of his own house.

"Smart, Adrian," I mumbled under my breath, rolling my eyes. I turned around and kept running. I didn't stop until I got back to my house.

"Bryan, Max, Alex, I'm home!" I screamed, but no one answered.

Figuring they were out for the moment, I decided to go take a shower and change.

Half an hour later, I walked out of my room, fully clothed, with a towel wrapped around my hair and sitting on top of my head.

Bryan, Max, and Alex still weren't home, and I was beginning to wonder where they were. I found myself looking through the pile of papers on the counter, zoning out for the moment.

I froze when I saw a letter from Minnesota Funeral Services. I opened up the letter and read.

_Dear Mr. Bryan Griffin: _

_ We're sorry for your loss. However, we thank you for choosing Minnesota Funeral Services to handle your sister's funeral. We assure you that it will meet your expectations. If you could send us some information about Kennedy so we can put it on the flyers, it would be greatly appreciated. _

_ The funeral is scheduled for February 13 at 6:30 PM. It will end about 8:00. Kennedy's headstone will be ready tomorrow. Once again, we're sorry for your loss and pray that your family will have the strength to carry on with your lives after your loss. Kennedy is now in a better place. _

_ We will see you soon._

_Sincerely, _

_The Staff from Minnesota Funeral Services_

I looked over at the calendar: February 13.

"It's already February?" I wondered aloud. "Adrian kidnapped me a month ago!"

That's when I realized that my funeral was supposed to be _today. _I ran to the clock only to find that it was already 7.

I sprinted to the bathroom, dried my hair, and then ran to my room. I found my favorite dress. It was a knee-length black dress that had a black ribbon tied around it just under the bust. Underneath the ribbon, the dress hung loose and flowed beautifully.

I grabbed a pair of heels and then put on my sneakers so I could run easily in the snow.

I got there just as the small box was being lowered into the ground.

Everyone was there. Bryan, Max, Alex, Aisha, Cecilia, Uncle Griffin, Kelly, _Gustavo_, Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and _James_. A few of my old teachers and other friends were there too, but the only ones that I really cared about were my brothers, friends, and James.

I couldn't stand to see them all crying. I decided to stay hidden behind a tree while I listened to my friends' stories.

Cecilia was the first to step up on the podium. She took a deep, shaky breath before starting her story.

"When I was in second grade, there was a boy who was making fun of me. At the time, Kenny was shy and kept to herself. No one really knew who she was, or what she was going through. Anyways, the boy was making fun of my hair and saying that red hair and blue eyes was ugly," Cecilia said, as tears flowed down her cheeks. "I was close to the point of crying when Kenny came up to him. She tapped on his shoulder and said, 'Excuse me, but that wasn't nice. You need to apologize.' The boy was mad and said 'No.' Kenny answered, 'I asked nicely,' in her threatening seven year old voice. The boy wasn't about to give in. Kenny then took out her hockey stick and was ready to whack him with it. Then, she had Bryan, Max, and Alex sit on him until he apologized."

Cecilia smiled at the memory, and I couldn't help but grin at my seven year old silliness. "I didn't even know Kenny at the time, but she still stuck up for me. Ever since then, Kenny's been my best friend and she's always been there for me. Thank you for being here today."

Cecilia got off the podium and walked towards the box that symbolized me since they hadn't found my body. "Miss you, Kenzie. But we'll carry on- for you, our little concrete angel."

I almost started crying. I didn't think any one would have remembered the song I wrote about abuse when I was thirteen, and yet here Cecilia was, calling _me_ the concrete angel.

Next up was Aisha, then Bryan, followed by Max and then Alex. After Alex, Camille stepped up to the podium, followed by Carlos, Logan, and Kendall.

Last up to the podium was James.

"There are so many cherished memories I could share about Kenny. She was.. amazing. No, that's an understatement. I think everyone here would agree with me when I say that words could not describe how incredible Kenny was. It took me forever to pick a memory to share. But I finally decided to pick the day before Kenny came back to Minnesota. Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and I promised Kenny we would spend the entire day together. We ended up spending the day at the beach. While Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were on shore, Kenny and I were having a water fight. She splashed water at me and I dunked myself under water. Because it was dark out, she couldn't see me. I swum around her and popped up behind her. Before she saw me, I picked her up and swung her around. She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly and I pulled her underwater with me. While underwater, she pecked my cheek. I brought her up for air and she kissed me," James paused, closing his eyes for a second.

I smiled at the memory, remembering how scared I was when James suddenly appeared and dunked me underwater.

"It's not a very extreme story or something that totally and completely show you how special Kenny was, but the memory is one of my favorites. It was one of my last nights with Kenny and I will _never_ forget her."

James got off the pedestal and walked towards my gravestone. He knelt down and whispered, "It's always been you and always will be you, Kenny. I love you."

James went back to the crowd of my friends and family. The pastor went back up to the pedestal and started speaking.

"Thank you all for sharing your memories of Kenny with the rest of us. We will now begin burying Kenny's box."

James immediately got up, whispered something to the people around him (who all nodded their heads in understanding) and walked away.

I was a little disappointed that James had left during my burial. I was thinking of reasons why James had just left. As soon as I realized I should probably be paying attention to the funeral, the box had already been buried.

That's when I made my appearance.

I stepped out from behind the tree and said, "I didn't miss my own funeral, did I?"

Everyone turned towards me, their faces lighting up when they saw me.

"Kenny!" they all screamed. Everyone ran towards me and I was debating whether to cower in fear at the 20-some people sprinting towards me.

Cecilia reached me first, her arms wrapping around me as she sobbed. Soon, everyone was gathered around me, hugging me and sobbing my name.

"Where's James?" I asked.

"He couldn't watch the funeral any more. It was too much for him, so he went walking around the cemetery," Kendall answered.

"I have an idea," Aisha said.

"What?" I asked, arching my eyebrow.

"What if someone went up to James and said something like 'James, it's time. Come on,' or something and then James came back to find Kenny there?" she asked excitedly.

"Ooh, romantic!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"Alright, fine," I smiled. "Who wants to go get him?"

"I will," Logan said.

"Go ahead, Logan," I said, watching Logan walk off.

"_I'm ready for this,"_ I thought.

**Review please :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the lack of updates on this story! I got caught up in updating Nothing But a Memory (which is now complete, check it out please?) But now, I'm gonna finish this story. Enjoy!**

**I do not own Big Time Rush**

**Chapter 9**

_Logan's POV_

It took a minute or two, but I finally found James sitting down and leaning against a tree, his eyes closed. Small tears made their way down his cheeks.

"James, it's time. I know it's hard, but you need closure," I said, walking over to James.

"I know I should be over there, but I-I just can't. It's too hard, Logan," James choked.

"Trust me, James, you'll feel so much better. Just come with me," I said.

"No, Logan, I can't. I just can't go back there," he answered.

I sat down next to him. "Fifty years from now, do you want to look back and know that you never said goodbye? Do you really want to live the rest of your life without giving yourself closure; without letting Kenny know you'll be strong for her?" I paused. "We've got your back, James; if you really love Kenny, you have to do this."

"But what if I can't, Logan? I can't promise her that I'll be strong for her, because I can't be strong for her. I can't be strong for her any more- especially if I can't even be strong for myself."

"You don't have to be strong by yourself, James; that's what Kendall, Carlos, and I are here for."

"I just can't handle this. What would you do if it was Cecilia who was gone? It was Cecilia that you knew you would have to live the rest of your life without? Knowing you'd never see her smile again, or hear her laugh, or hold her in your arms, or feel her kiss on your lips?"

Not telling James Kenny was alive was getting difficult. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from spilling.

"Says who?" a familiar voice asked. My looked up and saw Kenny standing there, hands on her hips.

James's eyes were wide, but he made to move to get over to Kenny.

"It can't be," James whispered. "It's not possible."

James started to get up, eyes still wide and his jaw open ever-so-slightly.

"What? Aren't you glad to see me?" Kenny asked, her eyebrows scrunched together in worry.

James took long strides to her, placed his hands on her hips, and pressed his lips to hers.

I smiled at the reunion. Cecilia had come with Kenny and I walked over to her, wrapping my arm around her waist.

Cecilia snuggled closer to me, turning her body to face mine and placing her hand on my chest.

She smiled and leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Happy reunions," Cecilia sighed, closing her eyes.

"Everyone deserves a happy ending, Cece," I said. "Especially Kenz."

"Kenzie," Cecilia murmured. "I can't believe she's alive. I missed her so much."

"I missed you too," Kenny said, hugging Cecilia. After they broke their hug, James wrapped his arm around Kenny and said, "It's good to have you back."

"I'm glad to be back," Kenny smiled, spinning out of James's grip as Alex approached.

**This was kind of a beyond short chapter.. Sorry... Review please?:) **


	10. Chapter 10

**I should give credit to AlaineAlthea, who helped me write the conversation between James and Logan in chapter 9. She's an amazing writer, you should totally check her out ;) On with the next chapter!**

**I do not own Big Time Rush **

**Chapter 10**

_Kenny's POV_

Home. I was finally home, and alive. After all the many hugs I received at my funeral, the question I dreaded arrived.

"Who took you?" Kendall asked. I froze. As much as I wanted Adrian to go to jail, I couldn't. I had already sent Hawk, Aunt Jackie, and Damen to jail. If I were to send Adrian there as well, that would be four people locked away because of me. If they were to escape again, that would be four people with a major grudge against me.

"Yes, Kenny. Who was it?" a threatening voice asked. I whirled around, my heart racing again, as Adrian appeared.

"I-I didn't c-catch his face," I stuttered. Adrian nodded slightly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Don't worry, Kenz. We'll catch him," James said, wrapping his arms around me protectively.

"No you won't," I whispered. "You won't catch him." Small tears threatened to spill; I bit my lip to keep them from falling.

"Yes, we will. I promise I won't let him get you again," James promised.

"Don't forget, Diamond. You're not dating Kenny any more. Get your hands off of her," Adrian threatened. James looked hurt, but removed his arms from around me and sadly walked away.

I wanted to call after James and tell him that I loved him. Anything to keep Adrian away from me.

Adrian had a smirk on his face, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. He leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear, "You're smarter than I thought you were. Good job not telling them it was me."

"You won't get away with this," I whispered.

"Oh, I think I will. Especially when you come back with me," Adrian smiled.

"I'm not coming back with you," I said.

"Yes, you are," Adrian commanded.

"Make me," I whispered.

"Either you come with me, or your precious James gets a bullet hole in his head. I have a straight shot," Adrian smiled wickedly. That's when I noticed the gun in his belt, carefully hidden by his jacket.

"Hey, guys! I'm going with Adrian to his place," I called. Everyone seemed upset, but let me anyways.

"You made a smart choice," Adrian said, placing his arm around my neck.

"Whatever," I mumbled.

"Wait!" I heard James say. Adrian and I turned around and James was sprinting up to us.

"Please don't leave me again, Kenny," James whispered.

"James, please. Go away," I whispered back.

"Why?" James asked, sounding heartbroken.

Instead of answering, my eyes flickered to the gun in Adrian's belt. James followed my gaze and his eyes widened when he saw the gun.

"Please, go away," I whispered.

"I'm not leaving you," James said.

"Then you can come with us," Adrian said, holding his gun up.

"Fine," James said, holding his hands up. I wanted to punch him for giving in so easily.

"Walk, Diamond," Adrian hissed.

**Another short chapter, sorry :( But I hope you enjoyed! Review please :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Big Time Rush or any songs used in this story. **

**Chapter 11**

"Get in," Adrian commanded harshly as he shoved me into the cellar with one hand and threatened a bullet in James's head with the other.

"Adrian, please," I begged. "I'll stay here with you forever; just let James go."

Adrian paused for a moment as if thinking. Almost immediately, Adrian said, "No."

Once James and I were in the center of the cellar, Adrian slammed the door shut and left.

"Hey, he didn't tie us up! That's a good thing," James chuckled nervously. I growled and clenched my fists.

"Pourquoi? Pourquoi etes-vous si stupide?" I screamed. James looked a me puzzled- of course, he didn't understand French. I collapsed on the floor, tears threatening to spill.

"Why? Why are you so stupid?" I whipsered, my voice cracking slightly.

"I wasn't about to lose you again," James anwered quietly, dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around me.

"Sometimes you really can be stupid," I growled, choosing to ignore my racing heart.

"I know," James sighed. "But if it meant being with you, I'd choose stupid over smart any day."

I sighed, giving up the argument.

A few moments of silence passed before James spoke up.

"Who is Back to December written about?"

"No one," I mumbled. I was slowly starting to freak out that he had read the song that was so obviously about him.

"Kenz, do you still love me?" he asked quietly. I froze for a moment.

"Do _you_ love _me_?" I countered, bracing myself for the inevitable "no."

"I've been a wreck for the past month. I've cried tears that I didn't know I could cry," James started rambling. I arched my eyebrow, waiting for him to finally give me the "yes" or "no" answer.

"James, where are you going with this?" I questioned. He looked at me and said, "Yes. Kennedy Griffin, I think I'm in love with you."

I sat there shocked. Love was one thing, but _in_ love?

"Kenny, if you say 'yes,' I will be the happiest and luckiest guy alive. But if you say 'no,' I'll understand why you don't love me. You have no reason to trust me- but if you'd just give me a chance," James pleaded, gripping my hand.

I put my hand against his cheek and gently pressed my lips to his. While pressing my forehead to his, I took a deep breath and sighed quietly.

"You'll be safer if I say 'no,'" I whispered.

"But it's a 'yes.' Even _you_ wrote it," James insisted.

"Please, don't," I pleaded.

"I'm not giving you up without a fight," James said. We were silent for a while while I brainstormed escape routes.

"James, we may never get out of here," I whispered finally.

"We'll find a way," James answered simply.

"No, we won't!" I exclaimed. "We're going to die!"

"You are so pessimistic," James chuckled.

"This isn't funny! The only way we're getting out of here is if-' I paused when I realized the price of the escape plan. "- if you kill me." James's eyes went wide.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," he repeated over and over.

"James, it's the only way you'll be safe!"

"What about you?" James exclaimed.

"That's a price I'm willing to pay," I answered.

"No. I am _not_ going to kill you just so Adrian will let me go!" James exclained.

"I like that idea! Thanks, Diamond." James's eyes went wide as he spun around to see Adrian standing in the doorway.

"But whenever can we do it?" Adrian asked, pretending to think hard. "Oh, I know, tomorrow night."

"Why tomorrow?" I asked quietly.

"Because tomorrow night is the full moon! Kenny, dear, it's your favorite time. What better time to die than during your favorite event?"

James balled his fists up in anger. I gripped his hand to keep him from lunging at Adrian right then and there.

"And you promise you'll let James go once I'm dead?" I asked. Adrian nodded.

"Swear," I commanded.

"I swear I'll let James go once you're dead," Adrian sighed, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"Good," I said.

"See you tomorrow night," Adrian winked. Seeing that I wasn't giving him any answer, Adrian spun around on his heels and left.

"You shouldn't have," James said.

"James, it's the only way to save you," I said.

"But what about you?" James exclaimed.

"James, we've gone over this! It's a price I'm willing to pay!"

"But I'm not!"

"It's my life, James."

"I'm not letting you throw it away for me."

"I'm not throwing it away. I'm giving it away to save yours."

"Same thing," James said, his eyes shining with tears.

"Don't cry, James. Everything will be ok," I said quietly.

"No, it won't be. Nothing will be ok if you're gone," James answered. I had never heard James sound so small and defenseless. I had never thought I'd ever hear James so innocent. It scared me.

"I don't want you to die," James whispered.

"I know," I whispered. "I know."

**Oh the feels. Review please :) **


	12. Chapter 12

**Guess what! Today's my 16th birthday :) As a little birthday gift from me to you guys, I'm going to upload the last two chapters of this story AND the first chapter of Nothing But A Memory's sequel, Come Back To Me! Enjoy! :)**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. **

**Chapter 12**

"Shoot her," Adrian hissed, placing the gun in my hands. I let the gun lay in my hands as I looked at Kenny, laying broken on the floor.

"James, do it," she said.

"I can't. I won't kill you Kenny," I whispered.

"James, just shoot me!" she said.

"No!" I exclaimed, broken tears making their way down my cheeks.

"If you don't shoot her, I'll kill you," Adrian threatened.

"Then kill me. Just don't make me hurt Kenny," I said, giving up.

"No, James, please!" Kenny exclaimed.

"Actually, no," Adrian said, putting his hand under his chin. "I'm not going to kill you. Kenny's the one that's going to die."

"You can't make me kill her," I said, gritting my teeth.

"James, please. Just shoot me," Kenny said.

"No. You, of all people, deserve to live," I exclaimed.

"No. James, no I don't. Can you imagine how easy your life would be if I was dead? Just shoot me," Kenny answered quietly.

"No! I don't want to imagine my life without you, Kenny," I exclaimed.

"You won't have to imagine," Adrian said. "Because it will soon be reality."

I felt Adrian grab the hand that was holding the gun and quickly guided my finger to the trigger.

"James, close your eyes," Kenny whispered. I did as I was told and squeezed my eyes shut. Before I realized what was happening, I felt Adrian press my finger against the trigger.

Three loud "Bang!"s filled the otherwise silent atmosphere, followed shortly by a small scream.

I didn't want to open my eyes and see the horrific sight in front of me, but I forced my eyes opened.

My heart shattered at the sight. Kenny laid in a pool of blood, two bullet holes in her stomach and one in her chest.

"No, Kenny!" I choked as I ran to her and collapsed by her side.

"Don't worry, James. Life will be better now; you'll see," she whispered, before her eyes closed.

"No, Kenny, don't close your eyes! Please, Kenny, don't leave me," I sobbed. But it was too late. Her eyes had closed and I knew I would never see her beautiful green eyes again.

I placed a gentle kiss on her lips, and held her against me, sobbing quietly.

"Don't leave me, Kenny. I don't want to live my life without you," I whispered. She didn't answer me.

My beautiful Kenny was gone.

I looked up at Adrian, fresh tears burning at my eyes. Adrian was silent, but I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes.

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"I- I don't know," Adrian answered. That was the first time I had heard Adrian sound so innocent and helpless- anything but evil and over confident.

"You loved her didn't you?" I asked.

Adrian nodded.

"So why'd you kill her?"

"Just shut up Diamond," Adrian said quietly, before turning on his heels and walking away.

I looked back at Kenny. Her skin was paling and she looked ghostly. It was in the silence that I heard faint shouting.

There was a hidden pocket on the inside of Kenny's pocket. I gently looked inside and saw a phone. I took Kenny's phone out and saw there was a call in progress.

"Hello?" I whispered, my voice wavering from the tears.

"James! You're ok!"

"Kendall?" I asked.

"James, where are you? Where's Kenny?"

"We're at Adrian's house; Bryan, Max, and Alex will know where it is," I said, avoiding answering his question about Kenny.

"James, where's Kenny?" Kendall asked again.

"Call an ambulence," I answered simply.

I vaguely heard Kendall scream for Carlos to call an ambulence.

"We're on our way," Kendall said. I heard the click of the phone and put the phone on the floor. The next few minutes dragged on as I held Kenny close to my chest.

Several new voices filled the air but I payed no attention. The only thing that mattered was Kenny.

"We found them!" Kendall's voice filled the cellar. A few men took Kenny out of my arms and put her on a stretcher.

"Please, let me come with her!" I begged. The man shook his head and said, "Sorry, family only."

"Come on, James. We'll meet them at the hospital," Logan said. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos pulled me up to my feet, and I took a few staggering steps.

Kendall and Carlos supported me as we slowly walked to the car. I heard ambulence sirens in the distance and I knew they were taking Kenny away from me.

"She-she's gone," I whispered shakily.

"No, she's not," Logan assured me.

"You can stop trying to make me feel better; I know she's gone," I whispered, another tear making it's way down my cheek.

"Trust me on this. She's not gone," Logan said.

"Let's go," Kendall said, opening the car door and helping me inside.

It was raining outside. Kenny always loved the rain. When she was little, she said she used to pretend the rain drops on the window were racing each other down.

I smiled at how childish she was sometimes. But the smile soon faded as fresh tears formed in my eyes.

Part of me wished the guys hadn't seen my like that- such a wreck- but the other part of me was glad they were there for me, even in times like this.

Minutes later, we were at the hospital. I pushed past everyone who walked in my path in an anxious attempt to get to Kenny.

They told me I couldn't see her.

"Be patient, sweetheart. I'm sure she'll be fine," is what the nurse said. But how could I be patient when the girl I love was suffering from a bullet wound? She could have been dead right then and there and I would never have gotten the chance to be next to her- to hear her final words- to see her smile one last time.

"This time she's really gone, bro," I said, burying my face in my hands.

"You don't know that, James," Kendall said.

"Yes, I do. You weren't there, Kendall! I heard the gunshot, I saw her die right in front of me. And you know the worst part? Adrian made me pull the trigger. I shot her, Kendall," I sobbed.

"It wasn't your fault," Carlos whispered.

"Give me one reason on how it's _not _ my fault," I countered.

"You didn't mean to shoot her. Adrian made you pull the trigger," Logan said.

"It was still my fault," I said. I buried my face back in my hands and took a deep, shaky breath.

The hours dragged on. I felt like I had been at the hospital for weeks rather than just a few hours.

"James, relax. She's going to be fine," Kendall said.

"Don't you dare ever tell me to relax when Kenny's life is on the line," I growled.

"Sorry, bro. But you've been pacing back and forth for hours now. You need to chill," Kendall said. I sighed and sat down.

Minutes later, a doctor came up to us. "Are you here for Kennedy Griffin?" he asked.

"Yes. Is she ok?" I asked anxiously.

"Why don't you go see for yourself," the doctor said, motioning for us to follow him to Kenny's room. When he stopped just outside a room, I nearly knocked him over racing in the room to see if Kenny was ok.

"Hey James," she said weakly.

"Kenz," I breathed. "You're ok."

"Well, as ok as I can get after getting shot," she laughed lightly, then groaned at the pain.

"You need to rest, Kenz," I said, stroking her hair. She sighed with content and closed her eyes.

"I'm glad you're ok," she whispered.

"Me? I'm glad you're alive," I said.

"I would have been ok. I've dealt with this stuff before. But this was a first time thing for you. I'm glad you survived."

"You're stronger than I already thought you were, Kenz. I'm glad you're ok. Get some rest," I whispered. She closed her eyes and soon drifted off to sleep. When I knew she was asleep, I planted a kiss on her forehead; I could have sworn I saw a smile creep up on her face.

"Is she ok?" Carlos asked anxiously when I left the room.

"She's fine," I smiled.

"See? What'd I tell you," Kendall said, smiling with satisfaction.

"You would have done the same thing. Imagine if it was Aisha, or Cecilia."

The guys were silent. For once.

"Excuse me, Doctor?" Logan asked suddenly. Kenny's doctor, who was looking down at his clipboard, looked up at Logan with questioning eyes.

"What happened to Kenny?"

"Well, Kennedy is very lucky to be alive," he started. My heart nearly stopped. "The bullet missed her heart by about three centimeters. I've never seen anything like it."

"She's just a lucky person," Carlos said. I looked at him, eyebrow arched.

"Well, kind of," Carlos corrected himself.

"I think what's best for all of you is to get some rest. Kennedy will still be here tomorrow. You can come back and visit tomorrow," the doctor said.

"Thank you so much for saving my Kenny," I said quietly. The doctor put a hand on my shoulder, smiling slightly, and answered, "You're welcome."

**What a crazy chapter! Review please! And be on the look out for Come Back to Me! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Last chapter! Two in one day! Make sure you've read the last chapter or this won't make sense.. haha enjoy! :)**

**I do not own Big Time Rush or any songs used in this story. **

**Chapter 13**

"Hello, my darling," I said, dramatically entering Kenny's hospital room.

"Hey, Jamie," she laughed quietly. I planted a kiss on her forehead and handed her a bouquet of roses.

"Excited? You're getting out of the hospital today," I grinned.

"Yeah, definitely. Back to the real world. No more safety of a hospital," she sighed. "You know Gustavo hasn't visited me yet. I don't know how I'll get back to L.A."

"We'll find a way. I'm not leaving you again," I said.

"I know you don't want to, but it may be our only option."

"It can't be," I whined.

"Don't worry your pretty little head yet," she grinned. "We'll see."

A few hours later, Kenny was released from the hospital. I walked out to the parking lot with her. Bryan, Max, Alex, Kendall, Logan, Carlos, Aisha, and Cecilia were all waiting there with huge grins plastered on their faces.

There were a lot of teary greetings and "thank goodness you're ok"s. I waited for every one to have their moment with Kenny before I could have her to myself.

Finally, she was done talking individually with everyone else and waltzed over to me.

"I'm glad you're ok," she said.

"Me? I wasn't the one in the hospital," I said.

"Well, still," she sighed. I smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"James, come with me? I want to play something for you," she said, nervously rubbing her arm.

"You really want to play right after you got out of the hospital?" I asked. She looked at me like I was a ghost.

"Did you seriously just ask me that? Me?" she asked. I laughed, and shook my head.

"I'm sorry. I should have known better," I said, dramatically shaking my head.

"Yes, you really should have," she joked. "Come on, let's go."

She grabbed my wrist and pulled me to follow her. We got in the car and I drove to her house. It was only a few minutes, but Kenny seemed really nervous. Her leg was shaking and she was tapping her fingers against the door.

When we got to her house, I got out of the car and went around to open her door. She was a little too anxious for whatever it was she was going to show me and had already gotten out of the car and to the house by the time I got around to her side.

"Come on, slow poke!" she taunted.

I laughed and followed. "What do you want to show me?"

"Come on," she smiled, pulling me arm and guiding me upstairs.

She set me down on her bed and pulled out her guitar. She looked at me and bit her lip before beginning to play.

_I'm so glad you made time to see me_

_How's life? Tell me how's your family?_

_I haven't seen them in a while_

_You've been good, busier than ever_

_We small talk, work and the weather_

_Your guard is up, and I know why_

_Because the last time, you saw me_

_Is still burned in the back of your mind_

_You gave me roses, and I left them there to die_

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night  
>And I go Back to December all the time<em>

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you _

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine_

_I go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_I go back to December all the time_

_These days, I haven't been sleeping_

_Staying up playing back myself leaving_

_When your birthday passed, and I didn't call_

_Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times_

_I watched you laughing from the passenger side_

_And realized I loved you in the fall_

_And then the cold came, the dark days _

_When fear crept into my mind_

_You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye_

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December all the time_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine_

_I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

_I go back to December all the time_

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile_

_So good to me, so right_

_And how you held me in your arms that September night_

_The first time you ever saw me cry_

_Maybe this is wishful thinking_

_Probably mindless dreaming_

_But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right  
><em>

_I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't_

_So if the chain is on your door, I understand_

_This is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night_

_And I go back to December_

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_WIshing I'd realized what I had when you were mine_

_I go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

_I go back to December all the time, all the time_

"When did you finish that song? It's beautiful," I grinned.

"In the hospital- wait, what?"

"Well, I kind of found that song while you were missing," I said sheepishly.

"Well that ruins the surprise factor," Kenny sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to ruin it for you," I said, touching her shoulder.

"It's fine," she said, absent-mindedly rubbing her wrists.

"Kenny, what's on your wrist?"

She looked down, almost horrified. "I've kind of been keeping something from you, James."

"What?" I asked, terrified.

"I used to be a cutter," she answered quietly.

"Used to? As in, you're not any more, right?" I asked desperately.

"Not any more. I stopped about the time of when I first got to L.A.," she answered.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Honestly, I'm not proud of it," she answered quietly. "I was scared that if you knew I used to cut, you would treat me differently; look at me differently."

"You know I could never do that," I said. She nodded.

"Have you ever thought about cutting after you stopped?"

She nodded. "After the whole Damon situation. It was really hard. Damon was the one who convinced me to stop; he kissed the scars on my wrist, told me that everything would get better. Of course, that didn't last long."

"I promise you, you will never have to worry about it again. Not while I'm around," I said, taking her hands in mine.

_Two years later…_

"You may now kiss the bride."

I'd never seen James smile brighter than he did at that moment. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.

"Nothing to worry about?" I teased softly.

"Never," he whispered, pressing his lips against my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Later…

"Hey, Kenny," Bryan's voice rang through the air. I looked away from James and up at my brother, standing in front of the microphone on the stage.

"You remember that song you found that Mom wrote?"

I nodded.

"Dad wrote a song for you too."

I smiled slightly, listening carefully to my brother.

"He was going to perform this song for you at your wedding. But since he's not exactly here right now, I'm taking over," he said, smiling at me. "James, take my sister's hand and dance with her."

James stood up and took my hand, asking me to dance with his eyes. I smiled as he led me to the dance floor.

"This one's for you, Kenny. Love Daddy," Bryan said before starting the song.

_Look at the two of you dancing that way_

_Lost in the moment and each other's face_

_So much in love, you're alone in this place_

_Like there's nobody else in the world_

_I was enough for her not long ago_

_I was her number one, she told me so_

_And she still means the world to me, just so you know_

_So be careful when you hold my girl_

_Time changes everything, life must go on_

_And I'm not gonna stand in your way_

_But I loved her first, I held her first_

_And a place in my heart will always be hers_

_From the first breath she breath_

_When she first smiled at me_

_I knew the love of a father runs deep_

_And I prayed that she'd find you someday_

_But it's still hard to give her away_

_I loved her first_

_How could that beautiful woman with you_

_Be the same freckle face kid that I knew_

_The one that I read all those fairytales to_

_And tucked into bed all those nights_

_And I knew the first time I saw her with you_

_It was only a matter of time_

_I loved her first, I held her first_

_And a place in my heart will always be hers_

_From the first breath she breathed_

_When she first smiled at me_

_I knew the love of a father runs deep_

_And I prayed that she's find you someday_

_But it's still hard to give her away_

_I loved her first_

_From the first breath she breathed_

_When she first smiled at me_

_I knew the love of a father runs deep_

_Someday you might know what I'm going through_

_When a miracle smiles up at you_

_I loved her first_

The whole time Bryan was singing, I was sobbing, clinging to James for dear life. He held me closer to him as he guided me through the beat of the music.

James pulled away slightly to look me in the eye. He wiped away the tears and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"May I cut in?" Max asked, tapping on James's shoulder. James smiled and let Max dance with me.

Soon, I was spun off to dance with Alex, then Kendall, followed by Logan, then Carlos, and Bryan. Then, Bryan spun me out of his arms and right back into James's.

"I love you Mr. Diamond," I said, placing my head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you, Mrs. Diamond," he smiled.

And at that moment, nothing mattered. Not Damon, not Aunt Jackie, not getting an album released. Nothing mattered. It was just me and James.

Cuz the world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. Nothing even matters. Whoa, nothing even matters.

**AHHH this is so bittersweet! Book 4 of the Living Dreams series is now complete and Kenny and James's story has been finished. But you are all so welcome to leave their future to your imagination :) who knows, maybe one day I'll write a one-shot of their future. Just because I love Kenny and James so much. Thank you so much to all of my readers and reviewers for reading this story. I never expected it to do so well! I love you all so so much. Review please and be on the look out for Come Back to Me! It's coming today as a birthday gift from me to you :) **

**- MoonWarriors**


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